The invisible thread
In the light of a rising full moon, I became aware of my Invisible Thread. Not the Red Thread that connects me to my motherline, but the invisible one that reveals itself later in life. My 40’s have been full of the grandest transitions that I have ever known, challenging me in ways I never expected. In Chinese Medicine, we view the Changing Woman’s phases of life through the seasons and elements. Menopause initiates the Second Spring, where we re-meet the Maiden; however, before this is a time of deep reflection, unmistakable physical changes, and invisibility.
As we move towards our 40s, sometimes fear can creep in as we are told that the social, cultural, and spiritual views of us as women will undergo a massive transition, creating confusion, unrest, rage, and invisibility, but that it is also the most empowering experience to be had. With all this in mind and determined to lean towards the empowered version of ourselves, there is often a desire to cling to our Maiden. Now, I am a firm believer that you do you, whatever that looks like. When I turned 40, I didn’t notice many changes as I was healthy, living at the beach in Mexico, and thriving in my business. As I crept closer to 45, I went through a major health crisis, which required surgery, had me moving back to Peru, and challenged what I thought about the 40s.
THE LIVED EXPERIENCE OF PERIMENOPAUSE
Over the last three years, all the warnings began to surface, and the empowering Wild Woman Years all the young ladies talk about (including myself) began to seem like a bunch of BS. Let me clarify that I have been studying women's health, medicine, plants, and Goddess Spirituality for decades in higher education, apprenticeships, online courses, books, research, and pilgrimages, and have received multiple degrees. However, nothing is like lived experience. It is the same way I felt delivering babies before I ever had one; basically, I only had book knowledge and external experience to guide me until I lived through it on a personal level. Don’t misunderstand me, this is still extremely valuable and necessary, and I am not here to dismiss women who are excited about the Changing Woman’s Phases. Quite frankly, it is refreshing that so many women are feeling empowered around their cycles. Yet, the reality is that a 30-something woman asking me to embrace a period in life she has never lived through falls a bit flat for me.
The increased changes in my being had me sitting at the altar of my 50-something friends to share what hell I was living through, no matter what I did, and feel valued and seen FINALLY, while they shared their infinite wisdom. In essence, this is what happens (not to all) when a woman gets closer to the main initiation, menopause. The shortened cycles, the mood fluctuations, depression, anger, frustration, alienation, body changes, and so on are all messengers sent from your timeline to your present embodiment. That’s right, even the stuff you thought you were done with. Yes, I knew all this from my years of studies, patients, and clients, yet here I was in the whirlwind of it all, feeling alone and very un-Seven-like.
UNDERSTANDING PERIMENOPAUSE IN A NEW WAY
Needless to say, these last few years have had me thinking about perimenopause in a new way. My patients, students, and clients sharing their journeys have informed my experience, while viewing the process with new eyes. The years before 45 versus being closer to 50 are vastly different qualities of life for many of us (not all). I feel as though the Maiden, Mother, and Crone have taken up residence inside me over the last decade with their archetypal insight, flooding my body, mind, and spirit with suggestions, stuff left behind, and how to prepare for the future. And while I love this round table of wisdom carriers, I can feel overwhelmed by so much information inside and out. Embracing what is going on means having the safety to lose my shit and go bonkers on a trusted friend who will not abandon me for sprouting horns and breathing fire. And it means isolating myself more often than not, so I am not dumping on everyone I know with a barbed tongue when I enter my mysterious-dated luteal phase.
THE MOTHER PORTAL
For one, the Rage I feel is Sacred because of the experiences I lived through, which teach me skills for the present. Even the layers of trauma combined with a warrior’s loyalty to fight for women’s rights surface in new waves of clarity and frustration. Perhaps for some, they never live through it again, but for me and the women I know, all the “work” that has been done rears up with an exit exam before the Crone takes hold.
So, back to the Invisible Thread. I have found that being around women younger than myself to be challenging for them and for me, creating a distance that has left me feeling rather ostracized. A dear friend of mine is near the end of her pregnancy, stepping into Motherhood, and I am at the end of the Mother Portal (I will always be a mother), giving birth to my Wild Woman or Crone (depending on which archetype system you use) when I hit Menopause. This makes for an amazing juxtaposition of a woman’s life, but reveals different needs and types of conversations we are looking for.
As a Chinese medicine practitioner, I really like the idea that I get to reconnect with my Maiden again, embrace her, learn from her, and teach her things I wish I knew growing up. However, to get to that luscious re-do, I must walk the fires of some seriously deep, uncomfortable terrain, barefoot, naked, with my skin feeling too small for the larger-than-life me waiting to embrace me when I pass through this portal. The idea that once I stop bleeding, I am suddenly a Wise Crone with Elder sophistication seems a bit far-fetched, so realizing that I get to begin the process again with freshness, gathering experience along the way, makes so much more sense.
Under the light of the moon last night, freshly reborn after I led a sweatlodge at my house, I sat with a dear sister, mugs of tea, and a very tender heart, sharing deeply about the Invisible Thread. She stated feeling invisible as well, but the only thing to do was to embrace the Priestess in the traditional sense, similar to a hermit. We live in a very young, plant medicine-heavy hip area of Peru, where we have seen many people come and go over the last 14 years. I pointed out that as we get older, community means something different, and because of all the changes we go through, it is impossible to pretend we are anything other than slowly melting goo in the chrysalis before we transform into the butterfly, a sometimes painful but necessary evolutionary process. Here’s to embracing the goo.
MY OFFERING TO YOU
I am dedicated to offering Rose Medicine to you in various ways - privately, in groups, and on retreats. I will be offering her medicine in YouTube Videos, Podcasts, and through my newsletters, so stay tuned! At this moment in time You have a few opportunities to meet this Queen:
Pink Rose & Allyship Group Essence Dieta beginning June 17th, 2026 → We will meet for 5-weeks diving in with Pink Rose, meeting the Maiden, and becoming familiar with the Second Spring.
Red Rose & Sacred Rage, Embracing your Wild Woman - Full Moon July 29th - Five Weeks, and a 10-day Red Rose Traditional Shamanic dieta, with womb practices and more. Information will be up soon, but please reach out if you would like to join, as space is limited.
White Rose & the Wise Woman - Full Moon November 24 - December 22. Five Weeks, 10-day shamanic style dieta, practices included. Information will be up soon, but please reach out if you would like to join.
Wild Pink Rose & Huachuma Retreat in Oaxaca, Mexico, this October, with a Free Masterclass on May 21st, 2026, and you can sign up HERE.
These opportunities are group-related, while the personal journeys are listed under the Rose Medicine page. I enjoy groups because they directly break down the Witch, Mother, and Sister Wounds present in all of us. Being vulnerable with a group is scary but provides healing through collective sharing. Please reach out with any questions or come to one of the Free Masterclass Orientations.
Until then, Stay Wild!
May 31st, 2026 - Pachatusan, Pisac, Peru
